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Have you every thought about how a partner or potential partner’s motivation might be incompatible with your own? It may be something you want to consider when thinking about a partner or potential partner.

Scientists have studied motivation for many, many years. Freud thought in terms of human “drives”. Maslow, Murray, and others researched human “needs”. The consensus is that all people have multiple needs but that the intensity of a particular human need or set of needs varies from person to person.

Research into motivation compatibility in romantic relationships is relatively rare but the role of motivation in a satisfying relationship is worth paying attention to. It is arguably the most important consideration when thinking about whether or not you are compatible with a partner or potential partner.

Before justifying this claim of importance, let me establish some context.

First of all, a person’s motivation priorities can change depending on circumstances. For example, if you are outside, exposed to the elements and hungry, you are going to prioritize finding shelter and food over a need to play or have fun. Or, if you are eager for sexual intimacy, the intensity of that “drive” or “need” might overwhelm your need to find a partner who has characteristics you seek for the “long-term”. The point is, that a person’s motivation is dynamic and changes as circumstances change.

This does not mean a person’s motivation at any given moment is random. Motivation patterns are fairly stable. So, if a person is motivated by a need to make an impression–to be seen and heard, he or she will maintain that need over time even if its prominence waxes and wanes in the context of other needs.

The second contextual note is that you might seek the fun and excitement of going downhill on skis while simultaneously trying to avoid physical pain and injury.

The point here is that motivation is usually complex, involving more than one dimension or need at a time. Indeed, going downhill on skis could include the dimensions of excitement, success at a complex task, and avoiding injury, all at the same time!

So, what can you make of the complexity of changing and multi-dimensional motivational needs and how do they influence your choice of a romantic partner?

Fortunately for those seeking a satisfactory relationship, a partner or potential partner’s motivation can be analyzed. Of all the identified human needs, three are thought to be particularly important for figuring out why a person does what he or she does. These three are the need for achievement, power, and affiliation.

Analyzing a person’s needs for achievement, power, and affiliation should tell you a lot about his or her motivational pattern and how compatible it is with your own.

You can recognize a person’s need for achievement in his or her desire to accomplish something difficult, to master tasks, to successfully exercise talent, albeit usually solo or alone. A person’s need for power is expressed in his or her effort to control his/her environment and direct or influence other’s behavior by command or seduction. Finally, person’s need for affiliation is manifest in his or her attempt to cooperate pleasantly with and be liked by others, particularly others viewed as allies or friends.

This is not to say that there are not other needs that motivate people. There are many other needs. For example, a need to avoid humiliation, a need to play, a need to put things in order, etc.. Unless they are unusually strong or weak, however, these other needs are not thought to be as important in directing behavior as the needs for achievement, power, and affiliation.

Of course, most people have more than one need working at a time.

For example, many people are simultaneously motivated by a need for affiliation and a need for power. Nonetheless, most people have a dominant need with one or two subordinate needs trailing behind. If your partner or potential partner’s dominant need is for power and your dominant need is for affiliation, you may struggle over the long-term because of a basic incompatibility between your dominant needs.

Imagine living with someone whose primary motivational need is to achieve (master tasks alone) or exercise power (direct others) when you have a strong need to affiliate (be in harmony with others). Or imagine having a strong need to achieve while living with someone who wants to exercise power over you.

At the risk of making finding a suitable romantic partner more challenging, my advice is to pay attention to a partner or potential partner’s needs for achievement, power, and affiliation. Seek someone with a similar pattern of needs. Compatibility based on similar values and interests is important. Compatibility based on motivational needs is even more important.

In the future, I will offer more about how to figure out your own and an other’s motivational needs.

Dr. Lebo is a licensed psychologist who has been practicing for twenty years. He can be reached by email at drlebo@selfhelpinsight.com. You can also visit the selfhelpinsight.com website for additional information on recovering from a lost love and heart break.

What women want? Is a question that has plagued mankind forever. Lets be honest with ourselves here guys we don’t really know what women want. You are a smart guy; you are nice, courteous, polite, decent looking and have a good job, yet the women you meet still do not seem to be that interested in you. Or you may be dating a lot but not getting past a few dates with the women you really like, even your sex life has begin to suffer. With you not getting as much as you want and not with the women you really want. If this sounds like you guys, you have truly misunderstood what women are looking for.

The problem is not your fault guys; it lies with the society we live in. Women are bombarded with messages from romance novels, TV shows and movies telling them the type of guy they should want. Showing the stereotype of the guy who comes in to play the “shining knight” role, rescuing a woman from all her troubles and cares. The problem with this guy is that we do not live in a fairytale world. There are no dragons to slay or invisible villains to defeat.

Truthfully guys, women don’t always know what they want! So instead of spending money and catering to a woman’s every whim, instead have her wanting you instead! Though women don’t always know what they want there are certain traits that turn on any woman and can get you a date or get you laid.

Go caveman: Yes, we live in the 21st century and are experiencing incredible transformations in our society but sexual attraction is still based a lot on the programming of our genes. In women, these genes encourage women to look for the provider type. A man who is strong and capable of handling any type of situation, women can’t help but be attracted to guys who assert themselves and are able to lead and give instructions to others around them. Develop your caveman instincts by being:

- Dominant: Don’t be the guy hiding in the dark corner of a club. You should be hanging out where all the action is, surrounded by others if you want to be what women want. Dominate males are naturally given respect by other man in the room and are looked too as leaders.

- Confident: Second-guessing, hesitating and being unable to make a decision are signs of a guy who will not be getting any sex and has no idea what women want! You don’t have to act superior or be a jerk just show some backbone and be unapologetic for your opinions!

- Strong: Men are providers, being physically and emotionally strong are positives. This does not mean you need to join a gym or any other extreme. It just means being able to show a woman that you are able to provide her support, being able to stand up for her, if some jerk makes a move while you are together on a date. You can show emotional strength by being resolved and calm instead of being the type of guy who panics and runs when a situation occurs.

Be exciting: Predictable boring guys are no fun to date, especially in a new relationship. What women want is to date a guy who is a little unpredictable. A guy who she can’t automatically read, if a woman thinks she has you all figured out, what will be her motivation to stick around? Nothing! Women tend to think of men like a puzzle they want to put together and understand, make sure you are the one holding out all the pieces and only give out one piece of the puzzle at a time. You can be exciting by:

- Talking about your interest: Nobody wants a conversation about what time you got up, how you brushed your teeth or how often you floss, a conversation like that is like watching paint dry. Tedious and dull, instead talk about passionate topics, if you are engaging and interesting a woman is more likely to respond the same way.

- Holding back: Your whole life history may be fascinating to you but to her it is dull and boring, so shut up about it! Holding back some information about yourself may make you look more interesting to women, as they are enthralled by the idea of men who have secrets. If you want to increase your chances of getting woman, then be a little mysterious.

- Never do the same thing twice: Dating is about having fun and what women want is a guy who is impulsive and a little unpredictable. Take a girl out to an unexpected place for a date can make you some more adventurous than any other guy she has ever been with.

Buddy Franklin is a dating advice guru. He recommends: Seduce Women, How to Tell if a Woman Likes You, What Women Want

To date or not to date? This is a tough question that single parents must answer for themselves. If you have decided that you are ready to enter the dating scene, you will need to prepare yourself and your child for this new part of your life.

It doesn’t matter whether you are casually dating or are looking for a new person to parent with, your child is involved and that means there are some important things you need to consider. Here are five tips for single parents who are entering the dating scene.

1. Always keep your child in mind.
Understand that the bond between you and your child will outlast any relationship. It has more depth and importance than your dating life, and should be treated with the same respect. Make sure to explain to your child, in an age appropriate way, what dating is all about and how things in their life will change. Emphasize the ways things will stay the same (like you will always love them the same). Explain, in a way that feels appropriate to you, that grown ups need companionship.

2. Present yourself as an entire package.
Any person whom you are dating has to understand that your role as a parent is important. If they try to minimize that role or try to move you away from it, think twice about going any further in the relationship. Any prospective partner should have respect for you and the realities of your life. This also means that you should be open and honest about your children. Present yourself as a single parent. If it’s a deal breaker for a potential love interest, they weren’t worth it.

3. Introduce new friends slowly.
Some single parents are so eager to set up a two-parent household that they end up going too fast with the relationship. In a matter of weeks, their new love interest is spending lots of time at the house and the child is beginning to think of the love interest as a parent. When the relationship ends, the child feels loss and confusion over the role of the adults in their life. Keep your relationships separate from your child until it is natural for the new person to come into their life. This way, you minimize the change that a child experiences when you have several people coming through your home.

4. Make time for yourself.
Between your child, your job and your new dating life, your “me time” may get lost in the mix. Don’t forget to take time to pamper yourself and address your needs. If you’re refreshed and relax, you’ll be better able to give all that you can to the other people in your life.

5. Listen to your children.
Children are very perceptive when it comes to people. If they dislike the person you are dating or seem uncomfortable around them, pick up on these clues. The new person in your life may be hiding something from you or might cause a rift between you and your child.

Jamie Jefferson has compiled money-saving online dating coupons, including eharmony coupons and a free-trial offers for Yahoo Personals.

I used to display all the typical signs of a shy guy when it came to dating. I think many guys end up shy because of a rejection when they were younger, maybe a playground incident where they were laughed at by a group of their peers. Alternatively, shyness may be the natural way that a man responds when thrust into an unfamiliar situation. Overcoming shyness is the only way guys can become happy and get girlfriends. Guys can boost up their self-esteem to blast through shyness and keep it from ever interfering with their dating lives again.

Get out of the house

One of the best ways of overcoming shyness is to ease into social situations with women. If you are a guy who has been single for a long time and rarely goes out going to club packed with a few hundred women will only cause you stress and will not get you sex. Start off with much smaller locations so you feel more in control. Attending a book reading at the library, a cocktail party for your job, offer locations where it is easier to engage women without loud music and an overcrowded room. Gyms, bookstores and other places frequented make great locations for connecting with beautiful women.

Once at these locations there is nothing wrong with first approaching women you know will not reject you. Walking up to the wife of a friend or a colleague from work you have no sexual desire in will help you talk to women without letting nerves get in the women. These women can also be a great way to get introduced to beautiful women you see at the party, as they can make introductions and help you avoid the awkwardness of having too make eye contact before you approach a pretty girl.

Go on scheduled practice dates

Speed dating events are very short dates, usually less than 10 minutes at length. Local speed dating events usually consist of men meeting between 5 to 10 different women in an hour of two. You do not have a lot of time to talk during a speed-dating event and for guys overcoming shyness, this can allow you to relax and just talk to a woman without thinking of what you think she wants to hear or struggling to make up interesting conversation.

Shy guys can also overcome shyness by using every meeting with female friends they have no sexual interest in as a chance to flirt. To hold the attention of a woman men use flirting to make her comfortable, you can avoid nerves and learn what approaches work best by doing a little casual flirting with a friend or two.
Develop reasonable expectations

If you have no idea what you want from a woman, nothing is likely to happen. For example you see a pretty girl and you walk up to her and just hang around not saying or doing anything, she can see you and so can all of her friends but you don’t engage them in conversation you just look. Though you may think you are doing no harm, you are turning her off before you work up your courage to approach. By hanging around uninvited, you come off as weird or annoying.

Before approaching a woman decide what you want to happen, play the scenario out in your head a little to help you understand exactly what you have to do and exactly how it will work. Think about pick up lines, smiling, flirting, body language, everything that could possibly occur. To clarify my point the time to practice overcoming shyness is not when you are at the bar and see a girl you should be practicing before you come out for the night. Running through possible ways a girl might respond to your approach and thinking about what you can see to keep a conversation moving can help shy guys just relax and stay current in the moment.

Develop better relationships with men

Some guys only seem to be shy when it comes to meeting and approaching women, others however have let shyness become a part of their everyday live, even preventing them from making male friends. If you wan to get closer to women, you need to be able to make male friends. Having the large support system of friends you know are going to support you and can be around when you go out looking for women can help guys feel more confident and offers the courage needed when overcoming shyness.

Buddy Franklin is a dating advice guru. He recommends: Shyness, Overcoming Shyness, Shyness Cure

The problem with shyness among guys is that it makes a man feel like he is out of control. Shy guys don’t just lack confidence in their abilities to attract and pick up women. They are often afraid of being rejected and don’t like to take the risk of putting the situation into a woman’s hands. So instead, they do nothing.

Shyness is a lonely lifestyle. Shy guys have few friends and when they do have friends; they tend to be the guy who hangs around in the background. Deferring to what his more opinionated and confident friends think the shy guy does not stand up for himself or make his thoughts and opinions known in the group.

With women, the shy guy rarely gets noticed and when he does, it is not likely to be in a positive light. Most shy guys approach a woman and promptly freeze up, if you cannot speak and have no idea how to make small talk or get a woman laughing then the likelihood that she will give you her phone number or have sex with you is remote. If men want to be successful at dating and learn what women want they have to be willing to come out of their shells.

The first steps

The first step a guy should take in overcoming shyness is finding out why you are shy. If you have been shy your whole life, then it probably means you have never take the time needed to develop a more dominant personality. If you become shy after having a particularly traumatic rejection from a woman, get over it! Seriously, one rejection should not have the power to scar you for life; rejection is a natural part of life. Sometimes you get the job you want, the girl of your dreams and the house you want, sometimes however you just don’t win.

The trick is not accepting the situations where you lose. Instead, you want to learn why you lost to prevent the same thing from happening again. It always surprises guys when I say this, but with the right training and approach, you can almost eliminate the chances that a woman will reject you.

Start becoming a leader

Shy guys do not participate in their lives or the lives of others around them, they exist in autopilot, too afraid to make waves and get attention. What they do not seem to realize is that there is nothing wrong with receiving attention. Guys who get to sleep with girls and date the women you want are able to do so because they don’t blend into the background they stand out from it.

Just take a chance. The next time you go out to any place where you can meet women and you see a girl you like do the exact opposite of your normal routine. Instead of standing around sitting in a dark shadow or staying at the table while your friends dance and have fun, make a move.

Make eye contact and walk over to her, smile and just relax around her. Shyness often causes guys to get extremely nervous when talking to beautiful women, making them trip, knock items over and come across as a little goofy. Avoid this problem by taking a deep breath and approaching her as if she is a friend you already know, causing the tension to leave your body and allowing you to act more naturally.

Remember to be you

I have seen shy guys try to overcompensate for being shy by lying and telling all kinds of wild exploits. I even had a friend who would often walk up to a woman and tell her he was an Olympic champion weight lifter, since he weighed a good hundred and fifty pounds soaking wet women did not buy this line. It only made my friend come off as desperate and untrustworthy.

Shy guys do not have to put on an act to attract hot women, you want to become relaxed and be more open. You do not want to look like a pathetic guy who would do anything in order to get a date. If you have trouble with shyness when talking to beautiful women get the help from a female friend. This should be a friend you have no sexual desire in for this to work. You are simply going to use her as your guinea pig, allowing you to try out what pick up lines work when picking up women and which fall flat.

Buddy Franklin is a dating advice guru. He recommends: Shyness, Overcoming Shyness, Shyness Cure

Every woman has had an experience with a man who was a player at some point in time, and she probably got her heart broken. Let me give you a rundown of a players’ usual mission when meeting women. He stalks the bars and clubs, any places where women are know to frequent. The player is attractive, well groomed and knows how to dress with his own sense of style.

He makes eye contact with a beautiful woman and approaches. After giving her a well-rehearsed smile, he gives her a line. The same line he has already used to hit on a few other women at the bar. Guys who wanna be a player know how to be charming, he gets her laughing and knows how to lower his voice to sound smooth and sexy. The player knows what topics of conversation will stimulate her interest and before the night is over he gets her number. The more expert players may even take her out that night or have sex with her.

At this point you are probably thinking their is no downside to being a player. You would be wrong, the player is only after one thing, sex, not that there is anything wrong with that guys, but is it what you want. If you are the type of guy who wants a long relationship, are exceptionally honest, and think you wanna be a player you would not be happy. Consider the possible downsides:

Repercussions of lying

Even though players may get more sex than you may it often comes at a price. I had a friend who considered himself a smooth player. He used to brag about his sexual exploits all the time and I have seen him date tons of stunning women so I know they were true. To be so successful at dating players have to lie and deceive women and one day it caught up with my friend.

After picking up a woman the night before and bringing her back to his place to have sex with he overslept the next morning. By the time he woke up his overnight guest had run into another girlfriend of his. A girl had been seeing for several weeks and invited over for a morning hookup. When they realized what he was doing, they were furious! They trashed his apartment then went downstairs and trashed his convertible.

I am not trying to say that if you wanna be a player the same thing will happen too you, I’m not even seeing that being a player is necessarily a bad thing, but before you decide to go that route you should truly understand what is involved and what other options there are. Besides the wanna be a player type of guy there are the nice guys, the celebrities, even the geek and their truly are advantages and disadvantages to each type.

Honestly, the best approach is probably being true to you, just learning to include into your dating game skills that women find attractive. Though you might think being a player looks like a lot of fun it may involve a lot more time than you are willing to invest. Just increasing your ability to approach a woman, being able to speak about interesting topics and letting her see your interest would be much faster.

Sneaking Around

If you wanna be a player you may also end up developing a reputation around town. It is a smart idea if trying to be a player to be a little low key with your dates so women do not find out about each other and get jealous and vindictive. I have a friend who is a player and has to keep up the cost of having several cell phones to keep up with all the calls from women he receives. He even has a second home for when it starts to get too much and he needs a little alone time, most of the time he cannot even keep all the girls straight. If my friend had instead used the “start to finish” dating method he would be able to be honest about his intentions and openly date 2 or 3 girls at once without their being any jealousy or hurt feelings too worry about.

Guys with the most dating success do not:

Spend a ton of money on women. Women are attracted to them because of their personality and charm.

Tell lies or exaggerate to hold a woman’s attention. Smart guys realize they are worthy of dating beautiful women regardless of how much they make, where they live or what kind of car they drive.

Juggle several girls at once. They know what women want and need to hear, able to be honest and tell a woman they want an open relationship and see as many women as they want on the side.

After reading all this guys, I only have one question. Do you still wanna be a player?

Buddy Franklin is a dating advice guru. He recommends: How to be a Player, Wanna Be a Player, Modern Man, Pick Up Artists

Are you a shy or quiet guy? If so, you may struggle with dating because you are just a nice guy and you do not really know how to assert yourself to women, or even let them know that you are interested. There are some tips that you can use to help you be a success with women, even if you are painfully shy or have never had a positive dating experience.

Faking it. Have you ever heard the phrase, fake it until you make its? This is what shy people have to do all the time because there is simply no cure for being shy. Instead of settling for no social life, you need to pretend as though you are not a shy person. The more you pretend the better you will feel and before you know it, you will no longer be shy in social situations and you will find that it is easy to approach women and get to know them better.

Let go of past experiences. Many times when you are shy or timid with women you got that way because of a negative past experience. While past experiences affect you no matter what you do, you need to make peace with the past and then move forward without allowing for it to affect your future dating life. It is difficult, but you need to work on moving past the past and looking toward the future. This will help you conquer your shy feelings and become a dating success.

Just be yourself. Women like a man who does not apologize for who he is. If you are just yourself you will find that she takes more notice than if you are not. If you are yourself and you fake it until you make it with being a bit more outgoing, she can not help but notice you. Women do not always require a man who will be the center of attention; they want someone who is interesting, even if he is a bit quieter than other people. Just be the best you that you can be, and do not be ashamed of it.

Just express interest in her. Many women just like attention, and if you show an interest in her or what she does, she will definitely take a liking to you. When you show this interest or attention she will know that you are interested and you will not necessarily have to step out of your comfort zone. If she has changed her hair, comment on it. If you know she is going on a trip, express interest in where she is going.

Rodrigo Rehn is a Relationships Expert, Linux Systems Administrator, Web Programmer, PHP Developer and CEO of FaceRomance online dating for singles.

I am going to describe some of the worse possible scenarios that a guy can face when he approaches a woman he is attracted too and asks for her phone number or asks her out.

- You get slapped in the face

- You get screamed at and laughed at in front of a large crowd

- She throws her drink on you or spits at you

- Her boyfriend walks over and tries to attack you

Now how many times have any of these situations happened to you? You have probably never experienced any of these occurrences and the few guys that do just did not approach the woman in the right way. Most women are flattered too be hit on when the guy is respectful and compliments her. Getting girls means you have to know what women want to hear and how to impress them when asking them out.

Don’t get your signals crossed: Signals are everything and guys you have to know how to read them correctly to avoid putting yourself into an embarrassing situation. Eye contact is usually the first signal used to show attraction between the sexes. When you make a contact with a woman pay attention to what she does. If she holds your eye contact for a second, flirts with her eyes by blinking and looking coy, looks away and looks again she is sending signals that you should make a move. If you look into her eyes and she rolls her eyes at you or makes it a point to avoid your eye contact, take the hint and move on. If you approach a woman who is sending you a signal she is not interested she may get mad and decide to make a scene.

Don’t take it personal: When guys find out a woman is not interested in them, they get angry. A rejection is not personal after all she does not really know you and her rejection probably has very little to do with you. Often times the girl probably already has a boyfriend, or just is not in the move to talk to anyone. If you approach a woman and she turns you down do not blow up. When getting girls a calm attitude really pays off. Instead, tell her you are sorry you bothered her and be courteous; sometimes that kindness will make her rethink her attitude and could get you her phone number.

Flirt: Flirting is sexy, fun and a great way of breaking the ice with beautiful women. There are no big secrets to flirting, when getting girls guys should stick to what feels natural and try not to move too fast. Putting your hand on a woman’s inner thigh that you just met two minutes ago at the bar could get you slapped. A touch on the hand, arm or check is more appropriate. You can also choose to flirt with words. Saying her name in a sexy smooth voice, smiling into her eyes, allowing your arm to brush up against her body and leaning into her are great ways of flirting.

Laughter: Guys when getting girls it is not just important that you are able to make her laugh you should be able to laugh at yourself. Ever been laughed at when you asked a woman out before? If so, you probably stormed out upset and insulted or got red with embarrassment. However if you had stopped to think about how you approached her you might learn a little bit about why she laughed to prevent it from ever happening again.

Many times laughter is just nervous energy; women are hit on all the time, especially in clubs and bars. Her laugh may have had more to do with being hit on several times that night than on you. Another common reason for the laugh is the use of a lame pickup line. Though there are plenty of pick up lines that designed to be funny, a lame pickup line is one that you thought was funny, but just sounds corny. If you think the woman is laughing at you because of your pickup line don’t storm off, just play along. Apologize for the pickup line or come up with a few more on the spot she might enjoy herself enough to offer her phone number.

Whatever the reason for how a woman responds when you approach her, the next step is still up to you. When getting girls don’t get angry or loss your cool, be flexible and think of something funny or clever to do regardless of the situation.

Buddy Franklin is a dating advice guru. He recommends: Get Girls, Getting Girls, Tips on How to Get a Girlfriend

What to say to get a girlfriend every guy has struggled with this problem. Think about it, you see the hottest woman you have ever seen in a bar. She has long wild hair, a body like a supermodel and full sexy lips that you cannot wait to taste. As soon as your eyes connect with her smoky, sensual gaze, everything in the room begins to slow down and she smiles and flirts with her eyes, giving you a signal to approach.

Your heart is racing a million miles a second, your body is flushed with sexual awareness, your throat starts to close up and you are frozen. Knowing all this but still enthralled you decide to approach this stunning creature and ask her out. Unfortunately, your mouth and body are still frozen, when you reach her all you can do is stutter and sputter trying to get out a full word! She just looks at you with pity or disgust, the attraction she first felt when your eyes met has now died.

It is the first rule of dating guys and you just violated it. If you want to get a girlfriend you have to be able to talk to women. A woman cannot carry on a conversation by herself and why would she want too? No matter how attractive she finds you if you cannot put up as far as she is concerned you might as well shut up!

Let me tell you a little about why I am such an expert on the subject of knowing what to say to get a girlfriend. My name is Buddy Franklin, a love guru. As a love guru, I have tried every product, book, system and program invented to help man get women into bed. I have even visited every website targeted towards man and tried out every piece of advice I can under real world dating experiences. I have been macho, I have been sensitive, I have been romantic I even went punk rocker for a day. Some of these methods worked for me and some left me feeling like a fool.

Do you want to know what worked best for me guys? Learning how to be genuine and communicate with women. Communication is surprisingly hard for most people, not just single guys trying to get laid. Talking and sharing your thoughts and feelings with a total stranger can be worrisome, making you feel exposed, but guys It really is a two way street. If you want a women to feel comfortable enough around you to kiss you and have sex with you, you are going to have to put yourself out their a little bit. Of course, with the right advice, you can learn what to say to get a girlfriend without feeling exposed.

If you see your perfect dream girl across the room, you should walk up to her. Dating is a competition and you do not have to compete against other man in the room you only have to compete against yourself. If you hesitate, worrying and trying to build up the courage to approach, you lose!

You should be thinking about what to say to get a girlfriend every time you interact with a woman you find attractive. Compliments go a long way to make a woman feel special and appreciated. Tell her how great she smells, notice the new outfit she has on and be a little bit romantic. You don’t have to fall all over yourself buying expensive gifts and springing for dinners in five star restaurants but showing a woman you care is never a bad thing. Flowers, cards and candy all say thinking of you.

A first date with a woman is like an interview, she will use this experience to see if she wants to hook up with you again and take the relationship to the next level. So guys this is one interview you should be aiming to pass. A first date is not the time to get personal; a woman does not want to know about every detail of your life. Unless you are rich and famous and splashed across the cover of every tabloid magazine, it is not that interesting.

Instead, highlight your good points, the traits that set you apart from every other guy. Your intelligence, interest and activities should be discussed but to impress the potential girlfriend spend as much time as possible talking about her. Find out what she likes and what moves her. This will set you apart from other guys who only want to talk about themselves. Be sure to be charming, keep her laughing and smiling at you. Attentiveness to her needs goes a long way towards getting a second date and making sure you know what to say to get a girlfriend.

Buddy Franklin is a dating advice guru. He recommends: Romantic Conversation Starters, How to Talk to Women, What to Say to Girls

The nice guy syndrome is a plague that has tormented and ruined the lives of many men. This may sound like overkill to you but it is real and must be stopped. The nice guy syndrome is a disease affecting perfectly normal man, in any country of any race or religion. This nice guy illness attacks the heart and brain of a normal guy convincing him he has to overly sensitive, helpful, accommodating, patient and spend money in order to date and get sex with attractive women.

The side effects associated with this condition include, reduced bank balances due to spending on women, feelings of helplessness and confusion as nice guys wonder why they still are not having sex. The condition also has an effect on women, sending out some invisible shield that makes her place nice guys in the safe, “just friends” zone, further preventing the nice guy from having sex. To make matters even worse the nice guy, looses self-confidence and feels the only way to get a woman is by spending more and giving more, further sinking him into a repeating cycle of doom.

Thankfully guys there is not just a treatment for nice guy syndrome, there is a cure! Several techniques existing for curing this date wrecking condition and giving you the power you want in a relationship. To fully break free of the nice guy problem men should:

Stop dating: Not for forever, not even for any extended period of time, just one week. Just enough time to complete the steps mentioned here and put them to use in your life.

Field observations: One of the best ways to research a problem is too do a little real life surveillance. Though you are not actively looking to hook up you will be looking for attractive women and noticing what guys come up to them and what happens. Does she reject a guy immediately? Walk away? Turn her head if he attempts to make eye contact?

Pay attention to the guys who approach the girls: To figure out why a guy was rejected or given a girl’s phone number, pay attention to his approach. His clothes, hair, charm, smile, body language and conversation skills could be working for him or turning her off. Try this at several different locations to get an accurate understanding of what happens, bars, clubs, restaurants, parties, stores, anywhere that a large number of women and man happen to be.

Compile your research

Look at the results you wrote down to start understanding which guys suffer from nice guy syndrome, you will probably notice several common traits they seem to have in confidence.

- Body language: Though they are approaching a woman and asking her out, their body language is actually closed off. Walking with arms hunched up to the neck, eyes and head down are not attractive and comes across as a lack of real interest in the woman.

- Nerves: The main symptom of nice guy syndrome is a high case of nerves. Making him flush red and practically swallow his tongue when speaking to gorgeous women. Of course, the nice guy rarely speaks to the girl of his dreams since he is unable to close the deal and actually ask her out.

- Self Doubt: Nice guys never have any confidence in their ability to attract women, often saying they don’t find themselves attractive and stating that they don’t think a woman would ever be willing to date them. This can also be seen in what types of women they choose to ask out. Nice guys tend to settle for average girls too afraid too ask out the smoking hot girls they see at the bar.

Start dating again

Now that you have learned the effects of the nice guy syndrome, your goal is to date in the real world and learn from the examples of the guys who showed confidence in themselves when dating women.

- Body language: Stand up straight guys you deserve to have any woman in the room. Make eye contact and do not back down, smile and flirt when you approach.

- Talk: You do not have to be Einstein when talking to a woman just the ability to speak in complete sentences and talk about something. Pick a topic and naturally discuss it with her, charm her and keep her laughing.

- Act like you believe in yourself: Throwing yourself out their in the dating world after being the nice guy can take a little adjustment period. If you don’t yet feel like you deserve to date the hot girls or feel out of place, just suck it up. No one has to know if you lack confidence unless you tell them. Fake it until you start to believe it and overcome the nice guy syndrome.

Buddy Franklin is a dating advice guru. He recommends: Nice Guy Syndrome , The Nice Guy , Nice Guys Finish Last